Friday, November 04, 2005

Random Hatred

So, we all know that random hatred of perfect strangers for irrational reasons is morally-upright and socially acceptable, right? Right. But what happens when the person you irrationally hate is also someone you admire? Such is my dilemma.

I give you A.C. "Carl" Newman, front-man of the New Pornographers, one of my current favorite bands. He writes brilliantly catchy, and yet off-beat, songs which combine disparate elements from across the rock spectrum into music that no one with good taste could dislike.

And yet ... I get the feeling that I hate him.

It all started when Annie and I went to see the New Pornographers at an in-store appearance at Amoeba in San Francisco. The set was short and messy, but fun. But Newman's stage banter was a bit much, y'know? He asked the crowd to recommend burrito places, and then proceeded to rattle off the names of several burrito places in the Mission. Who does he think he is?

Then there's this interview. Read it. Go ahead. It's riddled with smug I'm-the-front-man-of-a-critical-darling-band quips. Where? What are are you, lazy? Read it yourself. They're in there! I swear!

Oh, and also? He's Canadian! Yes, Canadian. He even admits it!

And finally, there's this picture. Look at it. Can you possibly come to any other conclusion than that he's an asshole? If you can, you're dead to me.

To recap:
1) Burritos
2) Interview
3) Canadian
R) Picture

What's that? My arguments don't make sense? That's why they're irrational! Haven't you been paying attention?

So, in conclusion, buy A.C. "Carl" Newman's music. It will make your life better. But while you do, curse his very existence. This I command!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is it any wonder that you hate him? I mean, isn't it a well known fact that you hate anybody named "Newman"?

Jake said...

What are you talking about? I like Marisa.

Adam said...

Yes, but you (sort of) knew her before she was a Newman, so perhaps your opinion of her was already set. Or, maybe you are just a manhater. In that case, when we have a kid I guess we'll have to try to have a girl, because no way are you getting off without buying lots of stuff for us, punk!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to every musician I've listened to the last 10 years, ever.

Anonymous said...

ah, nice way to attempt to deny your jealousy. seems like you worked hard on it. can't blame you for being angry about not being canadian though. look me up when you try to avoid the draft.

Adam said...

A month without an update? Who are you, your wife?